Picking.

Picking your child from school has a different feel that only parents can understand. It is a wonderful movie-like feel that I really cannot explain. It is maybe happiness and joy seeing your kid out from school combined with his happiness and excitement that school has ended and we are about to go home, it that certain mix that creates a hop in the heart.

Everyday when I pick up Liam, he always cannot wait to get out of the gate and run to me. They were asked to fall in Liam, girls in front and boys at the back. I can see him wishing to dash out but he will have to wait to exit first before he can do that and often he cannot wait.

Every time he will ran and pretend to be flash. He will immediately show his star stamp if he got one. He tells me little stories about his class while walking on our way to the car.

The first 2 years of Kenzo’s at JMS I brought and pick him up as well. They come out the door and I will be there waiting. I will help him change his shoes and off we will go. Last 2 years of Ken at JMS was with Kuya Jom’s school service but on his first year at San Beda I will drive him at 6am and get him before 12nn.

San beda was a different from JMS or Liam’s OLPMC because it is a big school, parking was horrendous, student pop is big but we got by. Kenzo .  When going home, Ken  is also the same but a bit reserve than Liam. He is happy but not outwardly showing it, I can just sense his happiness once we were in the car to go home. His will start with small stories about stuff at school and after that he will dozed off, waking up at 520am everyday made him sleepy in the car.

Picking them from school is a moment that stays with me, I don’t know why but it is always great experience.

 

 

Liam at OLPMC

I bring and pick Liam to and from his school everyday, except on few occasions that I physically cannot. He has loved his school and on most days he look forward to going, but there were few times that he grudgingly go and would rather play at home.

I am not confident on how well he is doing, it feels like he is not doing so well. But according to his teacher all is well with Liam and often he knows what to do.

I  am not as active in teaching Liam, unlike as I am to Kenzo. I am amiss with a lot of Liam’s school work, I am mostly focused on teaching Kenzo, he don’t get as much as study time and I knew it will affect him negatively in the future.

Currently, I am swamped with house work that, really, I can only handle tutoring one kid. Tutoring is my least favourite chore, because the pressure of teaching, making concepts understandable, simplifying topics reminds me of the anxiety when I was still in school.

Liam is currently on his own. He learn at school and that is all he got. Ideally learning at school and tutoring at home should be the correct way, parents and teachers should work step by step.  Sadly, in Liam’s case it is far from it he is left alone to learn, on his own, at school.

Hopefully, things will improve in the future or else it is going to be a hard trek for Li.

 

 

 

Bravery

I was just amazed how Liam can be so brave and how he can handle pain. It is like infront of me is a Mutant from Xmen. He is very brave and has a high pain threshold that is surely even higher than mine.

About a year ago, he broke his arm, while Playing with Kenzo he fell after being pushed, he catches his fall with his hand and the force, his weight was too much for his bones and it cracked. Yes, he cried but was able to tolerate it after a few hours. He even acted normal the next day and was even ready to play again. How he handled it, fooled us and we thought it was nothing but a sprain and can be fixed with some ice and rest. But the next morning it was inflamed, though Liam was a bit Coy about it as if it is just slight benign bump, but when I noticed he cannot move it and I kinda expected it might be broken.

We brought him to the hospital, his hand was examined, prayed, checked, moved and not a peep of wailing was heard. He was able to stand the pain and nonchalant about the cast to be placed on his arm.

Months after his broken arm, he was playing with his Kuya and he dove and overshoot the bed and slammed his head on the wall. there was blood tricking down his forehead and was not a good sight. I brought him to the emergency room and they stitched it and the same reaction from Liam, he withstood the pain from the injection and suture. I remember when the anaesthesia was administered he just gritted his teeth and nothing else while I was seeing it, I cannot stand it and decided to walk away form it and let his mum handle it.

Coincidentally, while Liam was being checked at the ER another kid named Liam too, was brought for the exact same injury and was crying uncontrollably the whole time.

Few weeks ago, due to his accident with Maxx,  his Pedia gave him a painful injection and the doctor warned us that even adult will complain pain from the drug. But when that was administered to Liam he just stomached it as if it was just nothing. I\When I returned a week after I  was asked by the clinic staff and another Pedia if Liam got hurt and how we handled the “painful” injection and they were surprised that Liam has tolerated the pain in his handsome and cute way.

 

 

Maxx!! NO!

Liam, I think got it from his Mum’s reaction, is afraid of our dog Maxx. Unlike his brother who is a little confident with Max, because I taught him how to make dogs follow him. Anyway, Liam is a bit scared of Maxx and will often try to dash away when Maxx is out of his cage.

About more than a month ago, I made a mistake of letting max out while the kids were playing and it resulted in an horrible accident. While the kids were writing on the garage floor using their pavement chalks Max ran towards the kids to play with them but Liam is not up for it and tried to escape. Max saw it and playfully put his paws up which unfortunately landed and scratched Liam’s face and narrowly evading his eyes by a hairline. A half CM to Liams left would have sliced his eyelids and maybe his eyes and permanently injuring it. In a way it was a lucky break for me, because what happened was really tough and scary for me.

We brought Liam to his Pedia and was giving several shots for a few weeks and it was costly expensive.

 

Car ride

Since the beginning our car rides are far from good. We are blessed (or are we really?) with 2 rambunctious kids from outer space. They will not be sitting still like other kids we see in the movies. To them the backseat was an extension of their playground or maybe a cleaner version of a pig’s pen. They can be really be noise and irritating and often it would lead to fights, crying, taunting, whining etc.

I once tried to cure it by stopping on the side of the road or turning off the aircon it does work but they will be at it again on the next car ride. I remember employing these tactics when I was picking up Kenzo from San Beda and Liam, at that time was still not at school. Yes, If I scare them of turning the Ac off they will be quiet but that is after a few minutes shouting, swearing at them to stop.

I guess, the 2 boys are just like that.. very playful and active.

 

 

Things are getting worst

Life now is getting bleaker.

Unfortunately, the kids don’t know the reason for it, the what and why it is happening. They just get the weight of all the frustration we/ I am carrying. I am stressed out and even a minor, routine difficulty can push me over the edge and lose it.

I shout my frustration, I show it. Sadly it was mostly towards the kids, as we are often together in a day.

Frustration often happen from late afternoon to sleeping time because it is the time I have a 45minutes Netfilx time, their study time, playtime, cooking dinner, prepping snacks, cleaning the kitchen, watering the lawn, feeding the dog and  showering… It can be a result of some over the top mess, or can be a simple spill, a small fight, a loud wailing, a minor injury or a terrible one etc.. almost anything that it is tiring to redo, our fix can get me frustrated and I show it be doing the most terrible stuff. I know not it is not a good thing to do, in fact it can scar the kids but sorry cannot really contain it quietly.

 

 

A Macbook

San Beda held a raffle and we won the 1st prize a MacBook. I thought it was just a scam and no one really get to win anything but was incredibly surprised to get a note from Kenzo’s teacher that we won.

I was very happy, for obvious reason, when I claimed it and everyone from San Beda that  learned that I won congratulated me.

Normally, I would not bother with such a raffle. I feel the school will just give out the consolation and keep all major prizes for themselves. I felt, no one is auditing these small raffle games and seldom do anyone cares, hence they can be dodgy and no one will give a damn about it.

Anyway, I vividly remember reluctantly filling out all the tickets believing that I will not win anything and what I was doing was just a waste. But for some reason, some sense was asking me to still keep the stubs safe. I normally, like 9 out of 10 I will throw them all because they are just useless clutter but that little voice of sensibility asked me to keep it. And I did. But after a few weeks and still seeing the stubs stashed in my kindle and still believing that I will not win any, I fold it and placed it outside where we keep our good trash( clutter that is still maybe useful, or parts that can be useful in a few days etc). It is a step away from the bin.

 

Fights, Mess, Tantrums…

3 of the best reason that makes me mad and  lose my temper  because of it and the kids, mostly, will bear the brunt . Frustration will get the best of me and these will lead to shouting and irrational behaviour. Hopefully, I can change it but looks like it aint going anywhere.

Mess: it is tiring to clean up. If I am done with cleaning or still cleaning it is painful to see more mess to add to what I am gonna clean. One biggest culprit are spilled food (liquid or solid) it is always a “deal breaker” and often I punish the kids by discontinuing dinner. I know, most of the time it was an accident but the mess from spilling is too much work to be ignored. It is always followed with a aggressive howl and some bad words as garnish.

Other mess are easily handled like toys but still can make me “lose it”.

Fights: the first thing about it is the worry. The worry that one might get seriously injured. second is the tantrums, wailing accompanied or followed by it, the noise can make me go insane hence impulsively to act negatively to stop or contain it.

Tantrums: are another thing but mostly done by Kenzo. First I try to reason to stop it but usually it won’t work and in the end I will result to “desperate” measure to put a halt on it.

A superhero, maybe?

I brought Liam to his Pedia to get his shots for Anti Rabies. The Injection was supposed to be very painful, the Vaccine is a thick medicine and was supposed to really hurt. Liam sat on the Pedia’s bed and took the injection as if it was nothing. He did not even flinch. His doctor was amazed, we all were. Liam is that brave.

about a year ago his arm was put in a cast, I brought him to ER with a severely fractured arm and he did not even cry. The Ortho placed the cast on him without even a whimper from Liam.

About around the same time, his head was stitched when he overshoot the bed when playing. I remember at the ER, another kid whose name was also Liam was at the ER getting his wound stitched too. The other Liam was crying loudly and was so scared, while Liam just grind his teeth and suck it all in.

Liam’s courage is unbelievable, if I had not witnessed it I would not believe it.

Macbook

Won a macbook today and was very happy. It was a raffle from San Beda and we got the first prize. It is rare that I get to win any and was so happy I got the best prize of all a MacBook.

Finally will be able to update this blog.

When the tickets was first brought home by Kenzo from school, my initial reaction was, another “money making” scheme of the school to sell tickets. But I still fill it all out and gave it back to his teacher. I almost did not keep the stubs as I knew it was just a scam of some sort. I  almost threw all the receipts and stubs, good thing I found it poorly stashed outside our house.

Then one day, I got a note from the teacher and she told me I won something. At first, I thought maybe it was just a consolation prize or something that is not worth the trouble of going to San Beda for. Then I learned It was for a MacBook. Wow! really! was so happy.