2022

2022 is gonna end in a few hours. It has been a fairly alright year than the last two. It brought things that were bad, good and great. Problems that carried over from the past years that I am still battling, new problems this year and also a few of hopeful things mixed in.

First half of 2022 was tough because of the water interruptions (which we started to experience again a few days ago), online school and all the chores that I have to do made the 1st half really tough. The 2nd half brought in new hope as school went back to hybrid and last November 3 to 4 days of face to face.

Last year also made Kenzo part of the Honor Roll which we are all happy about. Liam also got really amazing grades which made his Mum and I proud.

2nd half of the year was also the time when Liam started to blossom. Actual classes had helped him a lot in exploring and braodening his experience. He started to become very curious, independent, happy, friendly etc. He is starting to move away from the shadow of his brother.

Sadly, Kenzo is on the downhill. He experienced a lot of stress lately, he is trying to overstep his boundaries, he is trying to get hold of his independence. Most of the time he refuse to listen, he became defiant. His grade this school year was also the worst I have seen since he started school. It is not in a good path. I undertstand that he is gonna be a teen next year and will start to wish for more freedom and wanting to heard. He is no longer a kid that we “bubble wrap” versus the danger of the world; he now needs to explore on his own.

I am still battling my own demons and the wear and tear is now getting evident on how I see things. I scamper further inside my shell and wallow in my own miseries. Oh well….

I am quite hopeful for next year, I have not been this hopeful for a long time now, I know new things can have a potential to be great or really bad depending on how my dice will roll.

It is Christmas again soon.

Another year. we survived the lockdowns, anxieties of the last 2 years, the challenges at school, economic collapse, high cost of everything and the all over stress of being alive. Not really sure that we are the lucky ones or we are better off as victims of the pandemic? Anyway, another year, another xmas.

I dont know what the next year will be like. If past years will be the barometer, I think it will not be good. I am hoping for things to ease a bit. I plan to lose a handful of kilos and hopefully it will be a nicer year.

But didn’t I wish for a better “new year” every year and always it end up s as bad as the previous year?

Popular

Liam has become very popular at school because of his personality and friendliness. Even as a young kid he has this charm where other kids and grownups were drawn to him like a magnet. He can make friends and is willing to converse with anyone.

Mum bring Liam to school every morning and she realized that once Liam enter the school gate and when his classmates saw him they all shout in unison calling his name as if an actor just entered. Liam also talked to each one of the kids, gave them each a high five. Even kids from other grades know him and talks to him. He make jokes and make them laugh. He can freely talk and joke with his teachers, older kids, adults and kids his age. Even in his school bus he told me yesterday that he talked to grade 11 kids about basketball. football and World Cup. He just have that personality to reach out and curiosity to about others.

We are pleasantly happy that he is like this, a happy kid. hopefully, the horrors of our domestic life wont dampen his spirit. Our household is like a gateway to hell and we all know that this can leave an emotional scar. Hoping that he stays the same.

His time to shine

Liam was often at the backseat when it comes to grades. It is not that he dont do well but Kenzo just outshine him. Thankfully, Liam has sprung some great news last week. His grades for the 1Q was released and he was outstanding. His grades are just great, all in the 90s and many are in high 90s including Math. I remember Ken used to churn out grades like this but sadly not anymore.

Liam now is flying high while Ken is in the dumps. I know I must not do it but I now compare and often paint Ken as a bad example. “Liam, dont be like him.” I dont mean to say it but life’s frustrations, my sadness, my difficulties and unhappiness made me tip over to anger when things dont go my way.

Inspite of the Bad news about Ken’s grades, at least, Liam has some good things to prep us up.

Great and Bad grades

We got a letter from school last week informing us that Ken was considered to be one of the honor students. It was for the last school year. Ken never got low grades since pre-school and the only difficulty he has was in religion, because I cant teach it. Mostly his grades was in the 90s. It was a very plesant surprise that he was considered for it and was a great news. It felt great to know that and proud of his achievement.

But sadly, his grades this 1Qrt was atrocious for his standards, and I guess for my standards too. He now has mostly low 80s and lowest I have seen was 79 in AP. It was the 1st time I saw his grades plummet like this. If great grades was a happy news his grades now was very frustrating.

The sad part in all of this is the disappointment I felt. I now nag him for playing video games, not reading, watching Tiktok etc. I also lost confidence in him to make daily decision and often caught myself calling him”stupid”. Calling your kid names like that will scar him. I regret it but life’s frustrations and my own emotional baggage cant stop it. I often hope I dont say it but it just freely spew it in times of anger and impatience.

I hope the emotional burden will lessen, so I can be a bit nicer dad.