Shake

A few days ago we had an earthquake and it shook the house and it was scary, later on twitter I learned that it was measured at a bit higher than intensity 5. I was scared, when I felt it I quickly called the kids to go outside, Ken followed but Liam stayed  upstairs and I have to go back to force him to go down. The kids were unaware probably because they did not know what an earthquake was, when I told them they listen, got worried and just went back to playing.

Now the problem with that shake, it created micro cracks on the side of our roof, which I know even during the building stage of this house to be a possible danger, possible to collapse and will be the first thing to break during calamities like a typhoon. I was so shocked when I first saw when they installed the frame of the roof etc.. I did not know they build it that way, if I had known I will completely object to it. It looks fragile and might not last for more than 8yrs of typhoon season.

sadly, because of the disagreements between mum and I during the “architecture phase” of the first drawing of our house, that was made by Arch Ricardo That made me realized that I am not really a part of the house and does not have much of an say in it. I am not to have a responsibility and must just shut up. because I am not paying for it and this is really NOT MY HOUSE. So when mum agreed to make her own design with the help of her Novillos contractor I was hands off and completely gave her the freedom on what to do, sadly the house we have right now, though pretty but I think it is a frail as a squatter’s house. Sadly, I think it was badly made and if only I had a hand on the construction or developing this, or at least a voice I probably object to it.

But hey, who am I to object, really. I am not paying for it, I have less money hence I should not be a part of it. sadly, we have to deal with all of this possibility of having a broken house, horrendous amount to burn to maintain it because… but hey.. it is not my house.

 

another round

Another round of frustration hover over us, like a dark cloud from a smoke belching jeep  it envelopes the house again.

I really cannot control it, the heat, the piles of chores I have to do. I have to clean the toys, mess, cook, prep dinner, wash dishes, clean, sweep, mop, make the “soup” for Maxx, and feed him, water the lawn… good thing Ken does not have an assignment or else that would be additional fucking stress on me. Add to all that the humidity that we are on right now. I think the heat index is about 41 to 45c.

I dished out my usual specialty the swearing, the hate filled diatribe etc… it was once again I reminder that I am more a hurt to the kids than a help.

the Boys

Liam is  helpful, sweet, understanding, friendly and patient. He is just like any typical kid.  It is always nice to see him help out and I feel proud that he is a well-mannered boy. One scary thing about him is that he is brave, so brave I am a bit worried.

His features are soft and kind, nice to look at. He is lengthy and might grow tall. Also athletic and probably will do good in sports. When I first saw him shoot a basketball it was textbook, his release, follow thru, his lift, balance etc. Even at an early age he can compete against is older brother.

Kenzo is a hard nosed kid, he is logical and tough as nails. He is a bit of a worrier, possibly an introvert. He is not as athletic as Liam, and not as helpful but he gives us pride with how he  breezed thru with his studies even though no one helps him.

Physically Ken is strong, stocky and has a beefed up upper body, he may succeed in Judo or BJJ if given a chance.

Better to have none.

Is better not to have a dad than have one but he is cranky, unambitious , one who gave up, anxious, impatient, sad, pessimistic etc?

I had a bad relationship with my own dad, in front of my friends I referred to him as just an Sperm donor, and I think there was never a minute that we liked each other, I hate him and he hated me. Looking back, I think it would be better if I have not had a dad, it was surely better if he died or left me during my young years. there could be some social implication or a few question if I grew up without one but it will save from 30yrs of hate, pain, and revenge.

Am not a good one. Yes, I am excited to discuss Astronomy, introduce you to sports like football, basketball and baseball, enrolled you to Swimming, Karate, Tae Kwon Do classes, make you happy around books, teach you to draw, make you clean your bed and toys, teach you about being independent, tell you a bit about life, build you a tent, make drawings for you…. but that is just about am good at. I mostly failed and I am doing a bad job.

 

Who is faulty?

This is just an example of how things clash in our household. Yesterday I found out that mum cooked rice that is good for 4days, while when I do it normally it is only good for the next meal, it was one heck of a dump of rice that she cooked. She did not inform me about it and just expected me to check it in time before it get spoiled. Sadly, that day I bought lunch, and she bought dinner and obviously I would not go to the cooker and check to the rice. According to her, I should have checked it and put it in the fridge before it get spoiled. I am now called stupid for not checking. It is now my fault for letting all that rice go to waste.

But my argument is why cook an insane amount of rice in the first place and then pray and  hope that I will be able to check it before it get spoiled?  Is it not wiser to just cook enough rice to eat?  Why assume that I will know? Is it safer not to gamble and just cook enough?

El Heat

the summer heat is upon us and it is really unbearable. I am now suffering from slight cough and colds due to the AC in the room and the heat outside all mixed up to make me a bit ill.

The other day I went to the condo to have it cleaned and to purchased floor laminates, I went back and forth, up and down, to and fro… and when I got home I was exhausted and my body aches, that night I felt a bit ill.

Our whole house now feels like an oven,  without an AC it is almost impossible to be comfortable. Before our lawn has a cool breeze that I used to prefer  to stay there than indoors with the AC on. I love our backyard breeze, the sound of the swaying leaves and chirping birds etc… it was so relaxing but now the breeze was stale and cannot provide any help anymore.

The humidity also is fatally high, I sweat even just by lying down or just holding a book. the whole place is now like a big sauna.

 

Spoke too soon?

Yesterday I had a post about how we saw and appreciated the improvements in Kenzo’s attitude but it seems I spoke to soon. This morning it had another war zone, we were just about to finish our breakfast, ken and Li was arguing about something that I just ignored  like the other thousands arguments they had in the past. Then while mum and I was looking at them Ken balled his fist and slammed it down on Liam’s noggin and after that everything went downhill. Mum slapped ken several times on his arms and shouted invectives (I am sure all the madness were all heard outside because our front door was open).  So, after eating I hurriedly went upstairs to escape all the brouhaha, I opened the AC and just surf the net.

Hopefully, this will not setback Kenzo’s improvement and he will continue to be Ok in the next few days.

New Ken and Li?

I noticed in the last, maybe, 10 days there is some improvement in Kenzo’s attitude. He whine less, if not none, tantrums are few, or none. He talks lately than protest with his wailing. I kinda felt his change and I am surprised. This morning I told mum about my observation and she also observed the same thing.

We kinda celebrate a bit and applaud Kenzo for doing better. Kenzo responded with a triumphant smile and I think he gave us a hug too. It was a nice celebration we had this morning..good times.

However, it seems Liam, sadly, is stepping on the wrong direction by increasing his “fake cries”. Though, it is not yet alarming or at Ken’s level but it seems Liam is about on track to a tantrum filled career. Hopefully, this will not a case of winning some and losing some scenario.

 

 

A Space

I found a new space and a different way to do my favourite pastime, to read books. This is only doable when kids are out. We have a new SONOS speaker and it plays music directly by accessing music sites, it is way better than thru Bluetooth. So I play my music there and I stay at the couch, get my book, coffee and  prop myself.

I usually do this in the afternoon when the house is tidy, while jazz, classical (or whatever) is playing in the background, the house is empty and quiet, I have a book and coffee. and every time I marvel at how nice space I got there. It is really a great time for an introvert like me, it is so peaceful and it is like the best place in the Philippines, I honestly feel I am on a vacation in a fancy hotel, if I cannot be in the US, this is the next best place to be.

Sometimes I will close my eyes and my imagination will bring me as if I am in Melbourne, Sydney, Tahoe, Menlo, Palo Alto, Half Moon Bay etc.. the music, the peace is just so great.

I am happy.